Filed under: Faith, hope and love
Everytime I pray I move the hands of God.
Its true what they say- many people turn to God only when they feel helpless and needy (me included).
Really thank God for what Pastor Eric shared yst that when exams come, take it as an opportunity that God is going to let you feel His power. What Rev. Lin said today was true too. While having His perfect power, His heart is focused on what happens to us and that is the focal point of God’s goodness.
Psalm 113:5-6 “Who is like the Lord our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?”
God looks at me, the 1 out of a gazillion people, the 1 out of a thousand thousand people who are taking A levels this year and God cares for me. He never lets me go.
When I worry, I pride myself, I credit myself with righteousness and power that only God can claim and only God has. When I worry, I limit the wonders that God can do. When I worry, I doubt God’s care, God’s focus on me.
Everyone around me has been telling me that A levels is the worst exam I would be facing. But God has been so so faithful and in fact, I think I’m doing better than I was in secondary school, despite my heavy commitments in life con and council through my 2 years. God’s focus is on me. Even as I’m typing this, God’s focus is on me. And dear God, I give You the glory.
But today, I worry for nothing really. What is there to fear when my God is here?
I will go in with faith, come out knowing that I do my best, He does the rest.
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On another note, the past 2 days or so I’ve been thinking, “I’m so sick of thinking about other people. So sick of having to care about other people. Why can’t I be selfish, self-centered, have things my own way for once. Why do I have to give it up for other people who won’t do the same for me?”
Honestly nobody will ever know how I really feel deep inside it’s really quite painful knowing that you’re doing this for other people yet you’re not sure whether they’ll do it for you. And also, when the reason why you’re not following in accordance to other’s ways is because it’s just not right. If you’ve ever felt that way you would understand.
Kinda sucks when everyone around you thinks you’re strong enough to handle these things but you’re the only one who know you can’t. And it really doesn’t make things any better when you have to hide that sadness inside and pretend to be all… Happy and like “oh!! It’s okay don’t worry about it I’ll think of another way.” So sick and tired of being like that. So tempted to just say.. “I’m not going to do this why must I do this for you all why can’t you do or for me?”
People would probably think you’re being petty but the thing is people can’t see through your soul. Only God can.
Thank You, God for the timely reminder during devotion today. “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” – Proverbs 11:25
Sometimes it may seem unfair. But why do I choose to still do it with a joyful heart? Because God wants me to emulate that generosity. May not be in monetary terms but in gestures, so that people around me can see God’s goodness, graciousness, generosity.
Like what mommy said, even if it ends up that I’ll be all alone, having to start meeting people all over again, God would have a plan for that too. Maybe He wants me to meet true great friends that He knows I will keep for life, true great friends that will understand what I’m going through. (not saying that all my friends are fake or whatever).
So God, I lay down my burdens my troubles to You. I know I will continue to be Your focus. Thank You very much, Jesus. Amen.
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